Friday, September 19, 2014

Enjoy Life no matter how hard it may seem. When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry; show the world you have a million reasons to smile.

That's me. All.The.Time.

Nothing crafty to share today, just wanted to check in.

I know I've been MIA for a looong time.
There's been a few life changes, which I don't want to talk about right now.
I haven't crafted in 4evah, but that will change, I have been keeping busy though!
Things are good.

I had a minor fender bender one was hurt.
Yes, it was my fault......

This is also one of my favorite quotes:
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”- Wendy Mass

On my Facebook (yeah I Facebook) this week was this:

Casey Szmata

For those not aware, Grande Prairie has suffered two more suicides over the weekend. I am at a loss over what to do or say. The statistics show a 4% increase in suicides in this city year after year since 2003. For every female suicide, there has been 10 male suicides. That is the statistics - if that is what you are interested in hearing. Or you could hear a story of a real life person that once blessed the lives of those that loved them. You want a name or a number?? Here's a name. Morgan Lee Szmata. The most beautiful soul that ever graced this earth. My daughter. My heart and soul.

The child that I gave birth to, stayed up countless nights rocking to sleep, hours of homework and running back and forth to activities. The girl that I laughed and cried with. My best girlfriend. Half of my heart. She is not just a number - a statistic. And I have a very long list of other names and stories. Children, siblings, friends, parents. The list keeps devastatingly growing. You may choose to ignore this post, or any post talking about this issue, but at the growing rate of 4% per year one day we will all be touched closely and then people will listen. Believe me when I say that I never would have thought that we would have to deal with this. It was something that happened to other people. Then it happened to us. It is continuing to happen to families everywhere everyday. They aren't families that are painfully dysfunctional, or families that are broken without any love - that are perfectly normal loving families.

You may think that I am too emotional or passionate about the subject of suicide, but for one second, I ask you to stop what you are doing and look at your child. Right now. It's impossible to do, but just try for one minute to imagine never ever having them there again. Try to imagine the last time you see them is on a steel gurney. You touch their frozen hand and press your lips against their cold cheek, and every part of you dies inside. The pain in your body is like someone is pulling your insides out through a small hole in your chest. You can't breathe. You can't think. You can't even get through that moment. It is unimaginable pain - there are no words for pain like this. You cannot ever "get over" this, my life will forever be haunted with this loss. But through the heartache, I will never stop trying to save another family from this hurt. I can't stop. And I ask you to help. For your own children. For my child. For our nieces & nephews, for everyone close to you.

I watch today as a very sweet young man deals with his 8th loss of friends through suicide in the past few years. EIGHT. One of them being my daughter. Our kids look to us for guidance, for us to explain things to them and make sense of the madness. My tears flow because I've run out of words. I have no explanation. It makes no sense. It's unfair. It's devastating. This city is in crisis, and we need help. It's time that we as parents and people step up. Its time that health Canada needs to step in and do something. Raise awareness, provide counselling - something. Anything. We can't give up on our kids. I try to make sense of all of this, but I'm left heartbroken. Something has to change.

I will first say that I'm no expert on anything. I'm nothing special - just an everyday average mom trying to make it in this world. I love my kids. More than life itself. I've made mistakes - plenty of them. Every single day I ask myself a million "what ifs?" I wonder where my family would be if I'd made different choices. I regret. I take blame for so many things and I wish I could go back. I'm far from a perfect parent, but I have always loved, I've always been honest, and I've always put my kids before myself. Always. In the last two years I have worked very very hard to be a better person. I've suffered, and cried and fallen down many times. I didn't deserve the hurt I've endured, and much like everyone else, I still get walked on and kicked when I am down - every day - even by people I love. It's hard, and on days like today I want to run away from my life. But I don't quit. I don't quit because my love is too strong. I have to keep on going - for my son who I would swim the ocean for, for my family, my friends, and someone out there that may need a friend.

There are many factors that need to be addressed about suicide. I'm just gonna say them. If you don't want to read any further, then don't. If you want to turn a blind eye and tell yourself that this will never affect you, then do that. If you want to unfriend me - then do that. If you want to share this, do that. If you want to get pissed off by my opinion, then go ahead! I've been hurt and continue to be hurt by people regularly - but I'm not going to stop being who I am and standing up for what I believe in.

First thing. Drugs. I'm not here to lecture anybody on anything. I'm not judging - you live the life you want to live. What I'm saying is that drugs kill people. You may find it funny or cool to see your friends out of it, and maybe for a time it is. Drugs cause hallucinations. They cause your mind to see things that aren't there. They cloud your perception. When mixed with alcohol they are a powerful depressant. They change you into something you are not, and swallow you inside of a cloudy dark world where evil takes over. Drugs cause people to take their lives. You decide from there. It takes one night. One stupid decision on one night. There is no second chance, and there is no going back. Lives are shattered. You are gone. Perhaps we need our young people to start a new trend - no drugs. No alcohol. No 'so far out of control' that you have no bearing on where you are or what you are doing. Life can be just as good and as fun without these things. Don't get me wrong - I like to go out with my friends, have some drinks & laughs, but I also am painfully aware of the depression that can follow alcohol. It is a very strong depressant. Make a stand - be the person that refuses to lose another life to the senselessness. Minimize the risk. Just don't do it. If you have a friend that you see is out of control - take care of them. Help them. Sit with them through that dark hour and save their life.

Bullying. An age old issue that has struck all of us from time to time. It starts as small children, then develops into huge roadblocks in a teenage life. It causes eating disorders, depression and anger. Stop it. No person is better than anyone else. Your value is not determined by what you look like. I know people who are beautiful on the outside, and ugly on the inside. I know people who are not beautiful on the outside, and still ugly on the inside. Some people just aren't kind, and to those people you must just walk away and let karma deal with them. There will always be people that don't take others feelings into consideration. It's not a young person problem - I see people that are 50 years old who do things without caring who they hurt, or how much they hurt them. They just don't care. There are people who will always be selfish, who worry only about the way they are feeling, and don't care who they hurt. All they see is what life has thrown them and they won't move in or get over things, so they hurt others to make themselves feel better. Please don't be that person. Nobody should make another person hurt so badly. It is selfish, and in the end they will be the one who suffers from it. We all need to start opening our hearts more. We need to start facing the problems that face our loved ones instead of turning your back because it isn't your issue. We have to start taking care of each other. We have to start allowing love to guide our path.

To all the parents - I don't know where to start. Love your children. They are going to mess up. A lot. They aren't perfect - none of us are. Remember that. Be a parent, but also be a friend. They have a lot of peer pressure in this crazy world that we have created. We have to show them how to cope. Bad things happen in all of our lives. Divorce, death, separation. Don't ever hide your hurt for your kids. Don't lie to them. Despite what you may think, they know more than you would ever guess. Let them see your hurt. Let them see your struggle. Let them see you fall down and let them see you get up again and keep fighting. Teach them that life doesn't always go the way we want it to, but you can't give up. You keep on searching for love & happiness. You keep on looking for a brighter tomorrow. Show them that after a world of hurt, that you can come out stronger, happier and better. Be honest. If there is one lesson I've learned through the years it is to be honest with my kids. I never hid anything. I separated, went through a divorce, dated, broke up, cried and persevered. I never tried to hide any of it, but I also didn't stop living my life. I respected my children, and through that was teaching them to respect me. They were a part of my decisions, and they always had a say. If I dated, I told them about it. They sometimes didn't care for my choices, but they were my choices and they stood beside me through them all. Believe it or not, your kids become happy when they see happiness in your eyes. That's a fact. My son is 22 years old and when I tell him I'm happy, he is happy - I can see it in his eyes. I still tell him everything, and now I value his opinion more than any other. I love his protective nature, and the way he tells me that I deserve nothing less than being treated like a princess. He is showing me how to believe in myself.

To the parents that feel that they should be allowed to walk away from their parenting role due to separation or divorce or anything like that - I say eff you. You were gifted with gods treasures and you are going to turn your back in them?? You are going to put another man or woman in front of them??? EFF You!!! You don't know how lucky you are to have them. I would give anything to have my daughter back, and you walk away. You should be ashamed. There will never be anyone in the world that loves you like your kids, and you should be cherishing everything about them. Parenting doesn't "end" at any age. I still go to my moms and fall apart, and she takes care of me like I was 5. Because she loves me unconditionally. The way a mom should love. My goal in life is to be even half the mother that she is. To the kids that have parents like this - I am so sorry. If I could take away all that and replace it with love I would. If I could give you the love you so desperately need I would. Don't give up - there are people who will love you and believe in you. You can overcome anything and build a life to be proud of. You can break the chain of neglect and become a more loving and compassionate person, and someday parent.I know there are many people struggling through depression. I beg you to not give up. Seek help - don't ever be embarrassed to say that you need help. We all get overwhelmed. We all get frustrated. We all feel alone in this crazy mixed up world. But you aren't alone. You aren't alone. There is someone that loves you, or someone that wants to love you. Let them in - accept love and help. Be courageous - talk to someone or get some medication or change your life to what you want it to be rather than what it is. Just don't give up. Please. If you are choosing suicide you are eliminating all possibilities of things getting better. Life is so full of change - today may be bad, but tomorrow may be better. To all the young generation - when you feel like you dont have anything to fight for, I say I wish I could show you your life in 20 years from now. You holding your own babies, cooking dinner for your family - surrounded by love and joy. That is what you have to look forward to!! Looking into the eyes of a beautiful creation of love that you call your child!! If you could feel that for one minute I know that you would think twice about ending your life. Life is hard, but there are so many amazing tomorrow's waiting for you. Please believe that - have just a little faith. I promise you won't regret it.

Tonight I send all my love to all the broken hearts suffering through the worst days of their lives. The pain is far too familiar to me, and my tears fall for my own pain, and all of yours. I wish I could say the pain will end, but it doesn't. You just learn to try to cope with it. You learn to live with it. For this world of madness and despair I pray tonight that some miracle may fall upon us and take this darkness of suicide from us. It is enough. We can't survive any more lost lives. I can't survive any more lost lives. Please take a minute to say a little prayer for all those souls searching for something. Don't give up. Give tomorrow a chance. Give life a chance. You deserve it. And when you think no one cares - you are wrong, because I care.
I don't want to be all maudlin here, but here's another name.
Jason Aaron Luck.
My first born.
19 years ago today he died by suicide.
At the age of 19. (No, I was not '9' when I had him; I've been asked that before, but I was young)
This lady nailed it!
You don't ever get 'over it', but it does get easier.
And sure, I miss him & wonder what he'd be like now.
And no, for me there is no "shoulda coulda woulda". That'll drive you crazy.
I did what I could.
Don't ever give up, and don't ever stop looking for help.
We all deal differently, Vanessa always takes the day off from work.
She was 12.
Now, if you've read this far, you'll know I'm not one for sympathy.
I'm going to have my supper, and have Firepit Friday, and unless one of my peeps remembers, it won't be brought up, and I'm fine with that.
Oh yeah, and "I care".
Talk to ya soon.
Hope you're all well!
Ta ta for now.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

I'm on a role, 2 posts in as many days!
I needed a birthday card!
A card for my friend Inge.
Who's on vacation.

And a regular at Firepit Friday!

I'm also watering her flowers outside.
I'm not the only one!?
So if her Calla Lilies die, it's not my fault.
Haven't touched the pots with those in them!
This is a Bugaboo stamp!
Love them!!!
They're my kind of people!
I got these 'stamps' when they were made by Stampalicious.
You guys know I'm not a 'digi' person.
I see where Little Miss Muffet Stamps are helping them out!
Just wanted to share.
I'll have to take the time to make another Birthday Card, and a graduation card!
Hope you're all well!
Talk to ya later!
Ta ta for now!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

I've always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative. - James A. Baldwin

This post may contain a Christmas Card!
Holy Moly the first post in a long while is a Christmas card!
 Thanks for sticking with me!
Our summer is so short; I've been cleaning out the outside sheds, sea can, etc.!
It's been really hot, hot, hot!
Last night I wanted to go to bed about 6:30 pm; instead I made a card!
I've had the stitched topper sitting on my desk for a while.
It was really hard to photograph!
Even the thread I used was metallic.

I'm linking this up over at:
Christmas Cards All Year 'Round for their August Challenge:
 The theme this time is Sparkle & Shine.
Simply create a card that has glitter, sparkle, gems, pearls etc.
Christmas anything goes......
This challenge will last for the whole month of August- anything goes as long as it's Christmas - it doesn't have to be a card, you can link any project as long as it's Christmas!
Did ya know there's so many Christmas challenges out there all year long!?
Hope you're all well!
Talk to ya later!
Ta ta for now!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The only one who can tell you 'you can't' is you. And you don't have to listen. - Nike

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

I was home alone all week, so did what I wanted, when I wanted to.

Ok, there were limits! The grass got mowed, the seldom used appliance cupboard got cleaned, I sold some stuff on a local Buy, Sell, Trade on Facebook, I went to Peace River for an evening, went to a retirement party, watched within the last half hour of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (then the cable lost signal), and Sunday supper was early so everyone could go to the Demolition Derby!
It's rodeo time!

I also made these.......

BROWNIE BOWL SUNDAES (a brilliant dessert hack!)

- Your favorite ice cream
- Your favorite brownie recipe
- Your favorite toppings

Spray cups of a muffin tin with cooking spray, and add brownie batter to each cup until they're about two-thirds full.

Spray the second muffin tin with cooking spray and place on top of the first tin of brownies.


Brownie Bowl Sundaes

Epic Fail!

Vanessa Luck's photo.

But they were sure yummy!!!!

Vanessa Luck's photo.

Not sure what went wrong, but we usually eat our mistakes!!!

I needed a card to make up for skipping one for an occasion earlier this year!
It had to be awesome...............

I made a Never Ending Card!

OMG........I printed the instructions out in black & white.
Then in color.
And at Step 7, I had to watch the video.
3 nights of starting, and not getting anywhere; I. Got. It!
After that is was FUN!
Not sure how many I will make, but I finished it tonight.

I know the picture quality isn't great!

This is the front..........


And then.........

Last one........

Hopefully I'll be forgiven!
I'd like to get in a few challenges this week; not sure how that will work out!
It's forest fire season..........
It was soooo hot last week, we didn't work on the House in town!
We're back to the grind tomorrow!
I DID get my firepit furniture painted!
Hope you're well!
Talk to ya later!
Ta ta for now!
This is turning into the "Never Ending Post",
and I'm sorry, but I forgot to welcome my latest follower!
It's Marianne, go say HI!

Saturday, July 12, 2014


Alrighty, I had a minute!
Actually I need a retirement card for next (Firepit) Friday!

The House Mouse & Friends Challenge  is
***Anything Goes ***
I'd better hurry & link this up.

I'm cutting it pretty close!
I'm also going to link it up over at
Gruffies & Guests.

Talk to ya later!
Hope you're all well!
Ta ta for now!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

If you want to be happy, be. -Leo Tolstoy

Hello, thought I should get back into practice!

I made a Birthday card before I left, and haven't posted yet!
It's a 'guy' card, and was well received!

Been working in the yard, and at the house in town.
I'll have to find a 'before' Picture.
The deck on the house in town was 40' long, and 10' wide.
Faces south.
No one used it.
We're cutting almost half off, putting lattice around the bottom (darn cats!), and putting up a gazebo, for shade.
It will be lovely!!!
Hoping to finish it tomorrow, if it doesn't rain!
The gazebo comes Wednesday!

Our fireworks for Canada Day were a big hit!
Everyone brought a package.
We lined up spectator chairs; set the fireworks up by the dugout, and waited for dark.
Who knew there was so much smoke!
It was already foggy!
The only one who didn't enjoy them was Shadow, she turned into a large lap dog!!
We know for next time! She'll be going in the porch!

Better go, I came in here to make a couple cards!

Hope you're all well!
Talk to ya later!
Ta ta for now!

Monday, June 30, 2014

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. -George Allen, Sr.

Good Day!

I've been home for a week!
Tomorrow's a holiday, Happy Canada Day my Canadian peeps!
I told them I'd be in to work if it was raining. It's not.
I want to finish the yard work I started yesterday after the rain, and get my gazebo up!

We had to change Firepit Friday to tonight, as I did Happy Hour at the Old Folks Home Friday night!
I'm cooking hamburgers, making a salad, and I made pies yesterday.
I'm running to town for some fireworks too!

This will be a ton of pictures, and not a crafty thing in sight, so I'll tell you what I've been up to and you can skip the pics!

I went to pick up my mom & we went to the Amish Auction Sale in Rexford, Montana.
Mom & I went to see Duane Steele.
We went to Crawford Bay. A friend from waaaaay back & her husband bought property there, and are setting up an RV park.
We hung out in Bonner's Ferry, and Ponderay in Idaho.
We learned how to play Pickle Ball.
Had lots of laughs, and a great time............I need a vacation from my vacation!

Some pictures from the sale.
Sheds & log cabins

Squirrell feeders


Gazebo we all liked

I bought one of these, when it gets settled in it's spot I'll show you

Here it is plugged in at mom's garage.
It has a solar light on top
Cute planters

I wandered into the quilt barn and this one went for $100.00

Cool table, look at its legs

I think we were parked in their pasture!

Turkey family playing in traffic

My nephew showing off in moms yard
Then he couldn't get down

In Creston

That's a lot of Mary Kay!

Since I've been home............
I made a Dr. Suess cake!
Not intentionally......

The happy recipient
See, I straightened it out with Cool Whip!


The weather........
On the right side of 0 degrees!

We hung out a Family Rebellion on Rays side.

The women on the left & middle are 2 of Rays sisters

Too much beer & heat, need a nap on the golf cart

Shouldn't have let him nap,
got our butts kicked at horse shoes!

It's all been fun & games!
Not sure when I'll get to make anything!
I've also been painting the firepit furniture.
I got all the chairs done, just have 2 picnic tables left!
Better go,
gotta get my work done before it gets really hot!
Hope you're all well!
Talk to ya later!
Ta ta for now!